It’s Just Deflating

In some shocking news from Melbourne this morning, authorities disclosed that Andy Murray was under investigation for tampering with the tennis balls used in his Australian Open semi-final. Seeking to negate Thomas Berdych’s power, Murray apparently surreptitiously replaced the regular lively Wilson-supplied balls with dead practice balls. ⁽¹⁾

The report comes on the heels of a similar scandal in another major sport. In an effort to slow down the high-scoring Golden State Warriors, Spurs coach Gregg Popovich supposedly snuck in partially deflated basketballs for the teams’ most recent meeting in San Antonio. As Popovich rested some of his tricenarian stars, the coach reportedly felt balls capable of bouncing only to the Warriors’ kneecaps would help his D-Leaguers compete. The ploy did not succeed to the degree Popovich may have hoped, as Golden State prevailed 23-21 in overtime. ⁽²⁾

After the Detroit Red Wings' use of a germanium-powered syringe to hollow out pucks, the Yankees de-cored baseball incident, and the North Korean badminton team's lighter-than-air shuttlecock fiasco, the sports world has now lost complete trust in the integrity of its spheroids, cylinders, and those rocks with the handle on top.

So why did I just make up all of the preceding malarkey? Because it occurred to me just how difficult it is to futz with the balls in any professional sport besides American Football. In pretty much every other pro sport, some neutral official selects and monitors the game balls to a greater degree than football. Baseball umpires even rub them with mud. Home field may confer many advantages, but the ball won’t be one of them.

In pro football, however, the team selects the balls, breaks them in during the week, and supplies them for their team’s offense to use during the game. Theoretically, this practice should improve offensive performance, since players should perform better using a ball with which they have a comfort level. The officials do check the balls, but the New England Patriots have allegedly found a way to circumvent the inspection.⁽³⁾

So how to deal with the problem (if, in fact, the Patriots are guilty, which is not certain⁽⁴⁾)? Several solutions present themselves :

·      Make the Pats forfeit their next game if they are guilty. Unfortunately, a bunch of people planned parties around said game and Katy Perry probably moved tour dates to be there, so you may have to do something else.

·      You could punish the offending team and its personnel by taking away a first-round draft pick and fining them $750,000. That’s a pretty stiff penalty that would almost certainly serve as a deterrent to cheating, as it did the last time the NFL imposed it, on the 2007 New Engl . . . oh, never mind.

·      Another deterrent : let the opposition choose the footballs the Patriots use next season. At least a chocolate football would taste good.⁽⁵⁾

·      Use only Nerf footballs.

·      Have the league supply all the balls and the quarterbacks and receivers will tough it out. The only drawback : paying for an extra bag of checked luggage when the officials fly the balls to the game. Non-profits like the NFL can find it tough to pull extra petty cash for such an unbudgeted item.

·      Get rid of the rule altogether. Play with the ball however you want it. If a team thinks it can gain a competitive advantage by pounding it flat as a frisbee, do it. If your receivers can’t catch anyway, freeze it solid and avoid interceptions.

Of course, other sports do have plenty of cheaters. It’s just tough for them to do it through the ball itself (with Baseball Hall-of-Famer Gaylord Perry a notable exception). The best solution to all of those problems comes through sportsmanship. Teach children cheating is wrong and they won’t grow up to believe it’s okay to win through violating the rules.

The latter solution faces exceedingly long odds against succeeding, and that proposition is what’s truly deflating.

Rush Olson has spent two decades directing creative efforts for sports teams and broadcasters. He currently creates ad campaigns and related creative projects for sports entities through his company, Rush Olson Creative & Sports.

RushOlson.com

Linkedin.com/company/rush-olson-creative-&-sports

Facebook.com/RushOlsonCreativeandSports

Footnotes

⁽¹⁾ Made-up story – no footnote

⁽²⁾ IBID.

⁽³⁾ Jeff Pini, “A Lot of Hot Air? Here Are The Facts About Deflategate,” boston.com. http://www.boston.com/sports/football/patriots/2015/01/31/lot-hot-air-here-are-the-facts-about-deflategate/Ae6bx4CTvqk5rj3kgSvDCK/story.html  (Accessed February 1, 2015)

⁽⁴⁾ Ian Rapoport “More details on the investigation of Patriots' deflated footballs,” NFL.com. http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap3000000466783/article/more-details-on-the-investigation-of-patriots-deflated-footballs (accessed February 1, 2015)

 ⁽⁵⁾ “Chocolate Football,” Phillips Chocolates.

http://www.phillipschocolate.com/prodinfo.asp?number=CHFB (Accessed February 1, 2015)