Thanking Sports

As the United States celebrates its national holiday for giving thanks, I thought about the debt of gratitude I owe to sports. Certain parts of the sports world deserve to be personally thanked, I decided. The list is not comprehensive, so if I inadvertently left you out, and you’re not an inanimate object, email me and I’ll swing some praise your way.

Perhaps the Most Thanks-worthy People in the History of Sports are Jackie Robinson, Willie O’Ree, Nat Clifton, Frtiz Pollard, Kenny Washington, Larry Doby, and the courageous athletes in all sports who broke down arbitrary barriers that based employment on something other than performance. Their heroism had positive repercussions beyond sport. A world with less racism is a more pleasant one, and it's harder to be a racist when the only thing your tow-headed son wants for Christmas is a jersey with his African-American or Hispanic hero’s name on the back. On a related note, thanks to my father for enrolling me in a youth sports program where I was the one who didn’t look like everyone else. That experience helps inform my outlook to this day.

More hair, less shorts. This shot went in, I swear.

Thank you to ESPN. Thank you for showing the world an all-sports network would work. Now we combine all of your networks with those of Fox, NBC, CBS, and the rest to have multiple sports television options at any time of day. We don’t even have to actually have a television, thanks to tablets and the like.

On a related subject, thanks, TV Remote Control. Most recently, as in, literally as I’m writing this, you enabled me to instantly switch away from a lopsided game just in time to see Gareth Bale steer an astoundingly precise free kick just under the crossbar. Good work by you.

I’d also like to thank Modern Apparel Manufacturing Processes. When I was a kid, you couldn’t get much in the way of sports gear. Now, you can buy shirts, pants, and garden gnomes not only for today’s marquee performers but for just about any team that ever existed. I own an Atlanta Knights jersey. The team’s defunct, the league’s defunct, but I’ve got a replica sweater for them. The Atlanta Knights! Oh, and I have an Alan Ogg Miami Heat cap I got off an order form on the back of a pizza box. Oh, dang, did I say that last one out loud?

Nobody else in the world owns both an Atlanta Knights jersey and an Alan Ogg cap. Nobody. Not that it's necessarily a good thing, but it's unique, at least.

Let’s show some gratitude for Modern Medical Techniques. The advancements you have made let the top sports entertainers return from injuries that might have ended the careers of players in earlier decades. There’s just no downside to that.

My taste buds have requested some praise for Dollar Hot Dog Nights. Just about every team in every sport has one now. Thank you, because, well, they are hot dogs that only cost a dollar - awesome. I look forward to the spread of this tradition worldwide. Who wouldn't want Euro Knackwurst Night in the Bundesliga?

Lots of Dogs commercial with Nolan Ryan

Thank you to Bill Murray in Caddyshack and Bob Uecker in Major League. Sports should be fun. And funny. Gut-bustingly funny.

Finally, I owe Sports in General a big thank you. Knowing sports helped me get every job I’ve ever had, other than bussing tables and delivering pizzas. Not wanting to negatively impact my stamina for basketball kept me from ever trying cigarettes. And I will never not have something to talk about with a fellow sports fan. We will always have a mutually agreeable conversation topic, whether we agree about the content of it or not. Happy Thanksgiving, Sports! Now let’s eat and go watch some football.

Rush Olson has spent two decades directing creative efforts for sports teams and broadcasters. He currently creates ad campaigns and related creative projects for sports entities through his company, Rush Olson Creative & Sports.

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